Balls to the wall behavior

As I walked out of my circuit class this morning, a dude from class said to me, “Remind me to never f*&% with you.”

MISSION ACCOMPLISHED. And it’s only 7am. On a Monday. Hell yeah.

Maybe it was the elbows and knees I threw at that punching bag? Or how I hauled that 70 pound sandbag up the stairs? Or perhaps my game face as I went at it on the battle ropes? Oh, wait. I bet it was how I pounded that monster truck tire with a sledgehammer like a mother effer. Probably all of the above.

It was 60 minutes of hard core, fast-paced awesomeness. It demanded my all and I walked out with nothing left to give. It felt so good. And here at 4pm, 9 hours later, I’m still flying high.

I don’t know about you, but I need places in my life to go 1,000 miles an hour. To go balls to the wall. To tap into my badass, mother f$%@ing tank of kick ass. You know?

Because in the daily grind, things are a little more tame. I mean, I raise 3 and 4 year old humans. I interact with neighbors, preschool teachers, swim/dance/gymnastics instructors and young children. Lots of young children. My daily life is playful, structured and intentional. It’s great fun, but balls to the wall behavior? Well, it’s just not really appropriate. Motherhood requires more patience than anything. And I love it… but sometimes the daily mom vibe leaves my internal wild fire of energy, emotion and thrill wanting.

And if I leave that energy to simmer inside, I get a little, well… how would you describe it Isaac? High strung? Does that do it justice? (Answer: no.)

So, having places to go – away from my kids, away from the house, in the company of other athletes – to push myself to my physical limit is critical to my holistic wellbeing. Stoking that internal fire does wonders for my whole life. It reminds me what I’m capable of. How alive I am. Who Natalie is – Not just mom. Not just wife. Not just citizen. Strong, fierce and powerful human.

And that reminder makes me a better mom, wife, friend, daughter, neighbor, citizen.

I’ve found a few places up here in Portland that are hospitable to the 1,000 mph, badass mo fo types. And these are the places I spend my time at 6am. BurnCycle and Nike. (Note: I can also accomplish this given a treadmill, 30 minutes and a killer playlist. But, doing it with others is way more fun.) Whether I’m cycling with an army of 45 at BurnCycle, or sprinting/rowing/training with the dedicated crew at Nike, I am free to unleash the energy I have within. In these places, I shed the skin of the daily persona I inhabit. Niceties aren’t required. Diplomatic talk is irrelevant. Young children not allowed. All I have to focus on is me and what I am capable of.

Internal fires welcome. Badass-ery encouraged. Balls to the wall behavior required.

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  • Reply
    04/14/2016 at 7:14 pm

    Hell yeah!! I get that.

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