The thing is, encountering myself in the unravelled, messy, god-awful place was the most refining thing that ever happened to me. I found freedom in the discomfort of my broken down self. I had nothing to lose. I was free to face the ugliness of it all – my past, my pain, my fears, my anxiety, my obsession with my body.
And in that vulnerability, I had a choice: to either build the walls back up or live my life exposed. It was a hard decision, and I was tempted to return to the regular scheduled program that was my comfort zone.
Because, it’s terrifying to feel vulnerable, out of control and naked.
But, it’s wonderfully human to feel known, loved and connected.
There’s the tension – terrifying on one hand and wonderfully human on the other.
Well, I chose to forgo the walls (the high ones at least). I chose real connection. I chose to be known. I chose to appear as I am. I chose to be relatable. I chose freedom.
If we’re looking to be known and know others, we must always be authentic. We must let our humanity show. I’m not talking about ditching the healthy boundaries. We don’t need to air out our dirty laundry or cut the small talk and start with the nitty gritty. No. That would be inappropriate, awkward and even unsafe, at times.
Instead, we must identify the safe relationships and challenge ourselves to increase our vulnerability there. Put an end to the facade. Quit sugar coating. Cut the bullshit.
Over the course of a decade, I have worked to keep my walls to a minimum. At times, this has meant stepping out of my comfort zone and risking my pride. It takes practice and commitment. (For instance, Hello Day is a place I practice vulnerability.) I do because I want to be known. It feels good, real and meaningful. It feels free.
The vulnerability is the investment and the deep, loving, safe, amazing relationships the payoff.
So, lets be human together. Shall we?
P.S. Thank you for reading a piece of my story. Your words, understanding, love and support mean a whole lot to me.