Who the hell do you think you are?

There’s a question I hear on a regular, if not daily, basis. It’s one that rises from a secret place within me. It sneaks up, quietly. I don’t expect it. It catches me off guard in vulnerable moments.

“Who the hell do you think you are?” 

It comes in moments when I’m about to step out. To take a risk. To share myself. 

“Who the hell do you think you are?”

It makes me pause and doubt. It makes me fear.

Who the hell do you think you are?”

Who are you to speak up?

to write?

to try something new?

to expect success?

to share what you know?

(by the way, what do you know?)

to think anybody cares?

Who the hell do you think you are?

And it feels like a swift kick to the crotch. I drop. I cringe. I doubt and take a few steps back. At times I struggle to answer. At times I don’t answer at all, but instead go hide in a safe place. Shut off and alone. In sassy moments, I reply with a, “F%@$ off!”

I know some of you can relate. Actually, all of you can relate. We all hear versions of this. Some of us are better than others at calling bullshit on the doubt. I myself am getting better at it by the year.

But, there are times that the suggestion that I don’t have a place is enough to shut me off. I don’t have the energy to be sassy and stomp off. Instead, I need to dig deep to find a sacred response. One that, even in weak moments, is greater than the bullshit.

I read a book last year that has been a huge source of inspiration for me in this department – Elizabeth Gilbert’s Big Magic. There are several parts in the book that I’ve circled, starred, underlined and hallelujah-ed. I’ve shared it with friends and bought it for family. And this morning I went back to a passage to give me confidence in myself and my journey.

I thought maybe some of you could use this passage in your day too…

“Who the hell do you think you are?” your darkest interior voices will demand.

“It’s funny you should ask,” you can reply. “I’ll tell you who I am: I am a child of God, just like anyone else. I am a constituent of this universe. I have invisible spirit benefactors who believe in me, and who labor alongside me. The fact that I am here at all is evidence that I have the right to be here. I have a right to my own voice and a right to my own vision. I have a right to collaborate with creativity, because I myself am a product and a consequence of Creation. I am on a mission of artistic liberation, so let the girl go.”

We all have a right, friends. We all belong. We all have a voice. So, speak up. Live loud. Dare big.

Peace and Love,

Natalie

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2 Comments

  • Reply
    Jana Lee Thune
    06/28/2016 at 6:43 pm

    Love – Love – Love this!
    Spot on Natalie!
    You’re so courageously strong in everything, (In fact, who the hell do you think you are)?
    Your authentic, and such a beautifully brave women we’re all grateful for! So proud of you & your post are touching so many lives! well done faithful servant & master!
    Your wisdom defiantly gets me go’n in a get after it way!
    Thank you for mentoring to you’re mama!
    Loving you forever,
    😘😘
    Ohhhh, and YES….you’re an amazing “Kid Maker”😜
    (Out of the mouths of babes) is beyond the joy in those captured moments that send our hearts soaring❤️
    Just love that Reecer’s❤️

    Sent from my iPhone

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